During my farewell lunch to Microsoft, a discussion came up between me,my boss, and my team at the table about what and how I should conduct my exit interview.  Many ideas floated around, bring a hooker, lose my pants before I entered the room, etc.  The prevailing idea was to simply get smashed before the interview, as that was less likely to get me fired during my last few hours on the job.  Two sapporos later, and I was well on my way to a full stomach and about 3/4 of a buzz, scratch that idea.

I get back to my office, and it occurs to me.  I snag the cowboy hat sitting in my office, and borrow our architect’s bottle of glenlivet from his office.  Booze in hand, I strut my way to the HR specialist in building 26.  I walk into her office, plop down into the chair, and take a giant swig and slam the bottle down on the table.  “Care for a shot?  It’s my last day at Microsoft!”.  She cordially refuses.

Eventually i return to my office, and in no less than 5 minutes my dev lead is in my office.  He’s a rather cynical guy, with a flair for saying no less than exactly what’s on his mind.

“So, I heard you showed up to the interview with a bottle of scotch?”

“Yup”

“Her manager just called me and urged me to ensure that you have a safe ride home today.”

“That’s fantastic.”

(I’ve ommitted Nate’s last statement … it was definitely an HR violation)